It’s a rare away game for me this week with a trip into the largest county in the country, Yorkshire, even though I commute across the Tees into Yorkshire some days. I know this because there is a sign on the Princes Diana Bridge as you leave the Stockton on Tees’s side saying “welcome to Yorkshire”. On a night I return back to god’s own county, County Durham because there is a sign that says “County Durham welcomes you”. It’s not quite USA/Canada or USA/Mexico but I like to think of the disputed territory that is the lay by on the bridge (free parking if you are there early enough).

This time of the year is all about reflection, the events and people that should be remembered, the warm summer nights and the various events raising much needed funds for those in need. It is customary to shave at this time and then try to grow it back in the aid of Movemeber. Usually a good idea however this year the face appeared to have located a couple of new chins but you have to stick to your guns. So as the weather changed to a cooling breeze the jowls were unveiled for their annual air.

I arrived to catch the end of the warm up as usual, according to the welcoming official the programs had run out due to the bus loads of travelling support. Sure enough Delta flight was camped in the car park and friendly faces milling about with varied refreshment in the hand. Not for the first time I am referred to as the equivalent of someone else, I won’t go into too much detail as I believe this warrants a theme of its own. Safe to say the newsreader remark is noted for future reference and for those of you who are guessing it’s not Fiona Bruce. I tried to find a suitable vantage point as no equivalent of Harry’s hill was available. Camped on the far end of the patio that extends from the clubhouse I was in prime position set to watch the teams run out, but this is also the usual position of the “gate” faithful so as usual this match report is colored by the banter from the usual suspects plus the friendly Gate banter. There was of course so much to take in that some has been edited out, it’s very enlightening to share differing views of the same events plus Harrogate had tannoy (spell check comes up with annoy !!!) sound bites throughout the match. It obviously wasn’t sponsored by Northern rail as you could make out what the announcer said, however you are open to comments about accuracy when you are confirming facts to the multitude, I share your pain.

Both teams jogged out to a hearty encouragement from the crowd and lined up together with the ref clad in a quite garish top. The act of remembrance was opened with last post that drifted across the club in the silence and ended with the whistle, signaling that the players could jog to their positions across the grass. With the club house that spans the width of one side to my back, Harrogate in red, yellow and black hoops set up playing right to left, Billingham (Green and white, if you need to ask) kick off as the flags indicated a slight intermittent breeze but nothing really troubling.
A long kick from Billingham is returned up the line as the teams look to settle into a routine for this pivotal fixture. Burns picks off the top and a few phases are undertaken, Harrogate looking to stop runners at the gain line and then drive back. A kick over the top is cleanly taken and Harrogate set the runners away. A couple of phases result in minimal gain so a high box kick is sent up which is knocked on in the act of catching, Harrogate use the advantage to set up a dangerous attack but a loose pass brings play back. The scrum holds firm and Harrogate move the ball through a strong and eager looking pack, following good gain made Connor F is cleverly draw offside. Harrogate kick for the corner which I note as a show of intent (the gate faithful say it may be the lack of a strong kicker). Billingham obviously have worked on this as they allow Harrogate to take the line out ball and then stand off so Harrogate cannot employ the drive, both side look a bit unsure of what to do. They then look to disrupt and maul the ball to contain the attack, the ref sees otherwise blowing for another penalty. It to the corner again and a similar set up however Harrogate break the line but the Billingham defence holds the ball up and the ref is bang on the spot to make his decision, the balcony has mixed views from about 100 yards away. Billingham look to stem the Harrogate forwards thunder, beads of sweat forming on their brows. The scrum allows Harrogate a firm platform to send the winger in from close but right out on the touch line, the difficult kick is wide but the home team trouble the score board first for 5 – 0.

As similar opening to the initial exchanges as a long kick is pumped back up the line. No clean breaks for Billingham yet so Peter is adopting the kick over the top to turn Harrogate and try to pin them back. Billingham gain a little foothold when the chase pressure a clearing kick so the line out is well within Harrogate territory. Line out is taken and Luke Wilson opt so one of his attacking lines to make a half break, Billingham look to move the ball as they look isolated out on the wing. Peter E keeps the attack alive and provides quick ball as Billingham look up the middle. The ball is then switched wide as clean, crisp passing allow Joe Ross a little gap and outside step is covered by the Harrogate defence but a neat offload inside sees Elliot ground the ball ( I have “pants on Fire” Kirby on my sheet but I’ve read Brownies match report first!!!!!) Peter goes close but Billingham draw level at 5 – 5.

Harrogate kick off for the first time Dom Mc gathers cleanly and Peter looks to belt the ball up field. Pants on fire Kirby pressures the back line forcing the kick, overall a little gain on field position. The midfield tussle continues as phases roll but gain in minimal, Billingham look to hold up the strong forward runners and challenge at the breakdown. Anthony Jackson returning to the squad is a bit too eager to get after the scrum half allowing Harrogate to move up the pitch. There is a shift in dynamic as Harrogate are starting to get the nudge and decisions at the scrum but other than that both teams are working hard to minimise clear breaks. Most yards are being made with the boot over the top, box kick or penalties kicked to touch, that’s not to say it is a dull match far from it. Billingham look to gain advantage and take a penalty kick to touch but the line out is lost and it’s kicked to clear. Billingham use the ball carriers to move the ball, Nathan Myers creating little chinks in the Harrogate defence. As Billingham build pressure Harrogate infringe at the ruck but more alarmingly the sight of Joe Evans in obvious discomfort brings a break in proceedings. Billingham lynchpin Joe unfortunately has to leave the field of play as Billingham shuffle the back deck with Martin Hopley into the fray. Peter also hobbling a wee bit composes himself to stroke the penalty over. 5 – 8 but still no clear winner emerging.

Harrogate kick off and the catch is bobbled but went backwards, sir so Billingham are allowed to clear. The line out sets Harrogate up for a period of sustained pressure, the forwards again asking the questions and Billingham are pulled for not rolling away. Harrogate play the advantage but it’s not going anywhere and the scrum half decides he’s had enough and just stops. The usual kick to touch, line out is taken and this time Harrogate use the delay in contest to break a runner free rather than drive, joined by the pack he is manhandled over the line for the try. Although faith in the conversion from the home support is mixed he slots it over cleanly for 12 – 8.

At some point there was a shout of “Tapas” but after investigation I still have no answer as to why. Answers on a postcard please.
The balance of the first half is quite similar as the kick off is returned, there’s a scrum and a knock on but highlights are limited. Both sides reach the break with work to do, gate leave the pitch by the gate first. The half time team talk will be very interesting.

Talk about half time talk, what a lot to pack in. I had been fighting a cold towards the end of the week however a combination of Vic, a Shalimar special and corvonia shots on Friday had kept it a bay. Half time was a chance to hack away and clear the hooter. I checked on the 2nd team score, it was Harrogate ahead on both pitches. Having missed out on a match program I managed a quick look at one and noticed that the Harrogate team seemed to be fully sponsored up. I would like to mention to any male grooming product designers out there that currently we have a player in our midst, who would ideal for some marketing campaign or sponsorship deal. His chiseled looks and magnificently prepared moustache is crying out for anyone in the line for a dashing Victorian explorer or elegant cad/jewel thief type. Can I also add that if the product is for the older gentleman and selling point is based on lasting coverage of a large area my 4 chins are available at a very reasonable rate.
I also enquire into a possible opportunity as the Billingham social media forges its way into the vloging world. Just wondering if I could put in an application for the interviewers role for the club website web posting, I’ve often been told I have a face for radio (thanks Mum)
The gate regulars re-formed and had kept my space warm so it’s into the second half we go. A few questions linger for me from the first half, will the Billingham scrum fare better and can we release that dangerous back line. Harrogate kick off and Billingham return the kick to about the same place, halfway. Harrogate remain using the pack to punch holes but knock on. First scrum of the second half sees Billingham feed it in quick and move it out quick minimizing the time in the scrum and any Harrogate nudge. This is quickly followed by a contentious penalty which the man in the middle applies a further 10 for comments made. As Billingham move up the pitch further scrums are engaged which seem more even, Adam S, Jordan F and Kieran C going about their essential graft to develop pressure. The centres are also looking to break with Luke making incisive angle runs to unlock the gain line. For one of these puts Billingham on the front foot in the centre of the park, the ever resourceful Peter then pops a kick out to the far wing catching the Harrogate defence cold where Martin Hopley going at some pace gathers, without breaking stride to take into the try area. Unconverted it nudges Billingham just ahead at 12-13. As the tannoy rings out – GAME ON

From the kick off Billingham look to break out and kick it back which is knocked on, the scrum provides a solid platform and Hopley is off gain challenging the line. As the phases build a kick over the top is used again but cleanly taken for a mark by Harrogate. The kick is not to touch so Billingham start the build again, forward and backs combination are starting to click and half chances gain yards up the pitch. The forwards then turn the screw taking it round the corner, Harrogate get pinged for not rolling away and the man in the middle flashes a yellow. Peter dispatches the penalty for 12 – 16 but one suspect this is not enough.

Harrogate kick off and in the first ruck rip the ball out in the tackle to gain posetion. Billingham interfere at the next ruck in an attempt to retrieve, Harrogate continue to opt to go for the corner rather than narrow the score via the sticks. Harrogate look to drive up the middle but Nathan M puts in a cracking tackle but then gets pinned on the wrong side at the following breakdown, again Harrogate leave points and go for field position. Harrogate look to work the phases and it’s the forwards again crashing in but the Billingham defence is marshaled well so little headway. Billingham gain the ball and a kick through is knocked on. A solid scrum sees peter unleash Luke on a terrific line to set the ball rolling, this is backed up by a kick through that I expected to roll over the try line but instead the beauty of real grass stops it about a foot out pressuring the defending winger to make little distance with the clearing kick. Clean line out ball from Billingham and the backs set up, and then Peter dips into his bag of tricks and bang – Drop goal. Oh my word firstly I check the times I have had to type drop goal, no it’s a first then I try to remember how many points they are worth these days – 3 apparently. The clear vision moves the score to 12 – 19 meaning a Harrogate converted try will level it, but it’s a converted try.

We are into the final quarter of the match and it’s finely balanced, Harrogate back up to full strength and changes are made as both teams look to gear up for the final stretch. Harrogate kick off which is countered by a long clearing kick by Peter. Billingham are off side so Harrogate tap and go for glory, holes appear as bodies become tired. On front foot Harrogate reset to type and the forwards set up to drive countered with a cracking tackle by Nathan M pushing them back, although he does then get caught not rolling away. Again not opting for the points the kick for touch is employed, line out secured but a knock on halts progress. Billingham break out and a chip through see’s a scramble as Harrogate seem s to have it, a further attempt to hack through is taken then its adjudged to be knocked on by a Harrogate hand. Mickey Mouse hands on my watch continue to count down. Billingham look to stay in the Harrogate half but the winger has other ideas as he chips over a follows the kick. Shepherded shoulder to should with Joe R, its contact as they both reach for the ball and end up on the grass, the Harrogate winger has the ball but Elliott is in trying to rip the ball. The man in the middle signals not releasing but I don’t think the winger is too happy. He immediately walks another ten but then calls the player and captain over, its straight red for the verbals. That warms the crowd up as Billingham players look on bemused, the phrase outrageous is heard (I promised I’d get it in). Billingham look to shore up the match but still have to contain the Harrogate side, another kick through is tidied up by Harrogate but knock-on curtail their progress. As the ball exits the scrum, the ref must have been asked if it was time as it’s kicked out of the ground. The fulltime whistle sounds.

What a game with both sides leaving it all out on the pitch, the bloodied and the bandaged left the pitch to rapturous applause after both the 1st and 2nd squads huddled for the post match thoughts. With all of the talk of player’s wages and salary caps it is a good point to remember that Billingham players do not get paid a salary, but my word do they play. Greenwood road next week, if your free.

So no time this week for is it next week at Harrogate, try saying can’t with a southern accent, and here is the news, It was like a home game, bandaged head moustache untouched, can we have a PA system?, Bye heck that were a game, outrageous, tapas I’d rather have steak pie, get a feeking fixture sheet, still not in any of the photo’s and so what’s your favorite quiche? (See I can do in depth interviewing)

For Matthew Olley – Our Spirit is our Strength.
“Some people want it to happen, Some wish it would happen,
And others make it happen “ – Michael Jordan

An innocent bystander.